Growing Up "Skinny" - Me, My Weight and I

Skinny. Over the years I've really learned to hate that word. I think from a young age, we're programmed to think that being labelled as "skinny" is a good thing. And when you're "skinny", people feel like it's okay to make derogatory comments about your weight/size. If I had a pound for every time someone had said something like, "oh there's nothing of you" or "I've seen more meat on a (insert small animal or small piece of meat here)", I'd most certainly be rich. Why does society find it acceptable to approach a smaller person and say that? Would you ever go to a larger person and say, "oh there's too much of you" or "god, you've got more meat on you than a whale". Can you imagine?

I have always been small. I wouldn't say I am anymore. I'm not big, by any means; but a lot bigger than what I once was. So if I want to say, "Wow, I look so much bigger", because I DO, I'm ALLOWED to say that. In fact, I'm allowed to say whatever I want about my body. When you're smaller, people will try to make you feel guilty about your body shape and try to tell you things like, "Oh you have no idea how lucky you are to be that skinny", as if your insecurities are any lesser than anyone else's. Let me tell you: they're not.

Skinny might be an insult to someone for a variety of reasons. For me, I was anorexic when I was younger. There, I said it. I've never told anyone that before. I was very young and up until the age of about 9/10, I weighed around 3 stone and wouldn't eat much at all. I've worked hard and fought hard to put weight on, and keep it on. So for someone to tell me that I'm still "skinny", I do feel quite defensive inside.

That's another thing.
You feel like you can't confront someone when they're "complimenting" your weight because you've been programmed from such a young age that being skinny is the best way; you don't want to seem rude when someone's making a compliment, do you? So you bottle it up, get home and have a cry about any progress you thought you'd made.

My weight. It fluctuates. When I got married, I was 8st 7 and a size 8/10. At 5ft 2in, I was optimum weight for someone my size. Not skinny, not fat, just right. I only got married 10 months ago and I now weigh 9st 12 and am a size 10/12. I've put on weight for a number of reasons; mainly due to being housebound from my chronic illness. If you look at the NHS chart, I'm borderline healthy weight/over weight for my size and I'm not particularly happy with it, which is why I've started Pilates. But if I felt good at that weight, that would be okay. If I felt good at 8st, that would also be okay. No one has the right to make a comment about any one's size involuntarily, big or small; I just think sometimes people need reminding.


I've learned to love the parts of my body that make it mine. Even at my smallest, I always had cellulite, I always had bits that wobbled and jiggled and that's okay. All my gained weight has gone to my stomach and boobs (bigger boobs just in time for Summer...sweaty boobs, yay!) and apart from toning my stomach up a bit, like it used to be, I'm bloody happy with my body!

Let's face it: 95% of women will have some kind of insecurity about their body, no matter what size or shape they are, so next time you make a comment about someone's body, think how it could affect them, you don't know how much damage you could cause. 

5 comments

  1. You look fab Zoe but good luck with your pilates I hope it makes you feel more comfortable about your body, thank you for writing this post. I struggle with my weight too but after losing two stone this year I'm more determined than ever to keep it off and lose more. xxxx

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    1. Thank you :) It's strange, I thought I'd be terrified with it on here for the world to see but the more I see it, the more I think, "you know what? You're rocking it!". Wow, that is incredible, go girl! Think we should just all remember that everyone's different and we're all gorgeous the way we are, no matter what we choose to do with our bodies xxxxx

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  2. You are rocking it. You are wonderful whatever size you are. X

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