I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks. Now for some of you, that may seem like a short space of time; but for me, it's huge. I'll be honest, the last two weeks have been hell and it feels almost alien sitting behind my laptop screen again, talking about my life. I still haven't really processed what's happened, and some of the news I've received. I mean, I've not cried in almost a week - that's absolutely unheard of for me. I feel like a zombie, walking through life; with no real voice, no real spirit and no real purpose.

For those that didn't know, I had my 3 day autonomic testing in London to determine how severe my PoTS was, how to manage it and if I have any other conditions - turns out I have. But there's a video on that coming tomorrow. I've always found blogging an outlet to express my feelings; to scream into the void. But the past few weeks, I've not really opened up to anyone, much less the internet.

I wasn't really sure of the purpose of this post when I first started typing, and finally caught the writing bug again; but I guess it's just to say that my hiatus is over. I hope. If you follow my blog and my social media, you'll probably notice I haven't been myself for a while. I just seem to have lost the motivation and enthusiasm for not just reading and writing, but everything in life.

I'm feeling very detached from the bookish community at the moment. I'm not sure what's going on, who's doing what - and honestly? It's scary. I don't know how to get myself back out there and feel like I fit in again. I miss my friends, but the more detached I become, the scarier it becomes to talk.

I also want to say thank you. To everyone that's tweeted, or messaged, or sent cards or gifts, or even favourited a tweet - thank you. It's been immensely difficult and those messages mean more than you know. So, I guess I'm back. I think. I have plenty of ideas for blogs, and videos - and today's the first day I actually feel up to doing them.

So thank you for sticking by me, and reminding me daily why I love blogging and being part of such a wonderful community.

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